Listen How My Heart Beats For You

{Iceland x Doctor!Reader}

~*~*~*~*~*

Emil sat up groggily on his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he yawned. He looked over at the calendar on his desk and nearly leaped out of his bed. He’d forgotten that his doctor’s appointment was today. A blush coated his face as he thought of his doctor. Yes, he knew it is inappropriate to harbor feelings for his physician, but it’s not like Emil had wanted that to happen! He’d previously felt nothing for (Name), but after seeing and conversing with her after work hours a couple of times, Emil began to feel nervous around her. (Name) didn’t act professionally at all when they saw each other in town. At one point, they’d bumped into each other and she’d invited him to lunch at a local café.

Though whenever Emil went back to the clinic to get his physical check-ups and shots, (Name) no longer acted as though they’d hung out together outside of the office; instead she acted completely professionally, only asking common questions just to make conversion: “How are you?” or “Have you done anything exciting recently?”

Emil disliked the professionalism; he wanted her to act as though they were at least friends. They were friends, weren’t they? Otherwise, why would they have conversed in friendly chats whenever they saw each other when she wasn’t working? The Icelandic groaned and dragged his hands through his pale blond hair. She’d even complimented him on his hair color, calling it “a very beautiful color.”

What was going on with him? He normally didn’t act like this… Emil was supposed to exude an outward appearance of being cool and confident, but now he was fretting over a potential girlfriend.

…

He nearly slapped himself when the word “girlfriend” came to mind. (Name) could never be his girlfriend! They were strictly patient and doctor. Nothing more. Emil sighed at the last thought. “Nothing more, huh?”

~*~*~*~*~*

(Name) sighed as she leaned into her office desk chair. It was only 9:30 am, yet she already felt exhausted. She only had 3 appointments that day, the last one starting at 3 pm. Picking up her binder of patient medical records, (Name) flipped to the one that would be coming in last. Emil Steilsson. She frowned as she looked at the latest notes she had taken when he came in a month ago. During one of their encounters in town 3 months ago, (Name) noticed that his face was unusually red and that he seemed to be breathing unsteadily at times. She requested that he stop by her office the next day to do a check-up. It was then that the doctor discovered that his heart rate and breathing rate were higher than they normally should be.

“Have you been feeling uncomfortable lately?” She had asked the Icelandic man. To which he’d shaken his head, further causing the young woman to frown.

“Your heart rate and breathing rate are higher than they should be, for a 26 year old male. It’s nothing to be too alarmed about, but I recommend that you eat foods with less cholesterol and less salt. Those are common factors that lead to higher heart rates.”

Emil, however, knew exactly why his heart and breathing were higher than normal. Of course, he wouldn’t tell her the real reason why. After that first appointment regarding the situation, Emil would come in every month so (Name) could check up on him. Today just happened to be the same day that he would have to have his regular physical check-up.

(Name) then turned to the page where Emil had signed the paper that allowed her to disclose his medical records to other doctors if it would help her advise him better. After looking over the signed script at the bottom that allowed her to do so, (Name) closed the records, placing them back her desk and walked out of her office. Once she spotted her co-worker, she called out to them. “Toris! May I ask you a question?”

The Lithuanian man turned around at the sound of his name and smiled at her. “Of course, (Name). What is it?”

(Name) hesitated for a moment, but went on to ask it anyway. “I have a patient that’s been having higher heart rates and unsteady breathing for awhile now, but I can’t seem to figure out why. He’s informed me that he’s been jogging regularly, and his records show that his cholesterol levels aren’t above what they should be. He has no known heart conditions, as well. I’m not sure what else could be causing the higher rates.”

Toris listened carefully, nodding at times. “So basically, he’s a healthy individual that has recently been having higher heart and breathing rates…” His co-worker nodded. It only took a few more moments of deep thought for Toris to know what was going on, however. “(Name), let me ask you, how well do you know this patient? Besides his health conditions.”

She made a confused face. “How well do I know him?” Thinking back to her encounters with Emil, she began to fidget slightly in her spot. “Well, to be honest,” (Name) looked around, carefully making sure no one else was listening, and lowered her voice. “We’ve seen each other around town a few times, and we’ve had friendly chats here and there. Also,” she blushed slightly at the memory, “we may have had lunch together during one of those encounters. But it wasn’t a date!” Toris blinked. Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting a friendship quite like that.

He smiled knowingly, nonetheless. “I have a feeling I know why he’s been having higher heart and breathing rates.” She looked up in surprise.

“Really? Could you tell me? Because I’m absolutely clueless.”

Toris stared at her in confusion and surprise as well. “You really don’t know?!” (Name) looked startled and shook her head rapidly. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, chuckling slightly. “Well, don’t worry too much about it; what he’s experiencing is not life threatening at all. I’m sure your patient will tell you why he’s been having these ‘conditions’ in time.”

“Wait you’re not going to tell me?!” Toris laughed and began to walk away toward his own office.

“Nope. Sorry (Name), that’s for him to tell you!”

The 26 year old physician sighed; well, that didn’t help at all.

~*~*~*~*~*

Emil closed his car door as he stared at the hospital clinic for a few moments before proceeding toward the front door. He hadn’t even walked through the door yet when his heart starting beating rather quickly at the thought of (Name). The Icelandic male stopped right outside the door to compose himself for a few moments, breathing in and out to steady his heart. ‘No need to be nervous,’ he thought, ‘Just act normally. Yeah, normally.’ Walking in, Emil stopped in his tracks once more. ‘Wait, how do I act normally? Am I supposed to be like how I would normally act around Lukas or Matthias?’

“Um, excuse me, sir?” Emil snapped out of his thoughts and glanced over at the receptionist, who stared at him uncertainly. “Are you okay? Are you here for an appointment?”

The pale blond haired man nodded quickly, a light blush coating his face out of embarrassment as he walked over to the desk. “Yes, sorry. I’m here for my physical check-up with Dr. (L/N). My name’s Emil Steilsson.” The receptionist nodded, looking down at her papers to confirm his name.

“Oh yes, okay. Dr. (L/N) will be with you shortly. You can wait in the waiting room that’s near the room where she’ll be doing your check-up. I assume you already know where to go?”

Emil nodded, thanking her and walked to his designated area. Once arriving, he sat in one of the chairs and looked around. He was the only one in the room. Sighing, he allowed himself to sink into the chair and stared up at the ceiling. “So, what am I suppose to do now?” He murmured, thinking about (Name) and his improper feelings toward her.

“I don’t know, you tell me?” Emil jolted up in surprise and stared at the entrance of the waiting room, his heart beating quickly again, but for a different reason. Standing at the entrance was a man with blond hair that reached a little past his chin, and bright blue eyes.

“Oh, Francis, it’s just you.”

Said man scoffed at Emil’s remark. “Just me? I am offended, Emil.” The Icelandic only rolled his eyes and sat up properly in his chair. Francis walked over and sat in a chair a little ways away, to Emil’s right. “So, tell me, mon ami, what seems to troubling you?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on, I know you’re dealing with romantic problems.” Emil looked at him in shock.

“How do you know?!” Though Francis only laughed his strange laugh at the pale blond haired man’s reaction.

“Well, I’m a Frenchman, we know these things… And I was just taking a wild stab in the dark at what was troubling you, and it seems that I’m right.” Emil only groaned and face palmed. “Now, tell me, who is the lovely fille that has occupied your thoughts?”

“I really don’t want to be having this conversation right now. Especially with you.” Emil muttered, avoiding eye contact.

“…It’s your doctor, Doctor (L/N), isn’t it?” Emil, now knowing better, questioned him back without revealing his shock.

“What makes you think that, Francis?”

The Frenchman laughed. “Well, Doctor (L/N) is a very beautiful lady.” Though it was true, Emil frowned at his comment. “And I’ve seen you eat lunch with her one time, in the town center.” The Icelandic’s eyes widened in panic. He hadn’t thought about what might happen if others, who knew that (Name) was his doctor, saw them eating together. It would have brought on the wrong idea, and (Name) would be in a lot of trouble. Francis noticed his panic and tried to calm him down. “Don’t worry, no one else seemed to take notice of either of you.”

Emil tried to reason with himself that Francis was probably right, as (Name) didn’t seem to have gotten in trouble, but it still made him worry. “Well, what should I do? With my feelings for her, I mean. It’s not right, and there’s no way for me to tell if she feels the same way without revealing my own feelings.” He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with Francis. Though, if someone could help him, (and has a lesser chance of telling Lukas about his whole dilemma) it was probably Francis. ‘Then again, maybe Tino could have helped me…’

“Well, mon ami, the only thing I can tell you that’ll be helpful, is to think if it’s worth it to tell her how you feel. Has she had such a profound impact on you that you must tell her your feelings? Or is this something that can be left alone and the feelings will die out in the near future? I do, however, advise you to tell her how you feel.”

Emil looked at Francis in surprise. “…I thought you, out of all people, would encourage me to say how I felt, no matter the situation.”

Francis smiled at him gently. “Depending on the situation, some things are better left unsaid.” Emil went quiet at that, choosing now to stare at his hands that were folded neatly on his lap. He thought back to the limited times he’d spent with (Name). How she would smile at him while they talked, and the way her eyes shone with happiness whenever she saw him. In those times they’d seen each other around town, he had a chance to get to know her better, not as his doctor, but as a normal person with no limits between them that would prevent them from being friends, and possibly more.

Leaning back in his chair, Emil stared at the doorway of the waiting room. “…Yeah, I guess not. The feelings will pass eventually. It’s not worth the risk of telling her how I feel, and making things awkward between us, especially if these feelings are temporary.”

Francis nodded. “In the end, it’s your own judgment. If you feel it’s not worth it to tell her, then don’t. Like I said, I personally think you should tell her, but it’s your decision. Remember, there’s also no significant down side if you do tell her. You never know, she could have feelings for you, too. All you need to do is ask. Because, Emil, if you never ask, the answer is always no.”

~*~*~*~*~*

“Hi Emil, how are you?” (Name) smiled brightly at him as he walked into the exam room.

“I’m doing okay. The traffic and parking over here was kind of annoying though. How about you?”

(Name) hummed. “Hmm, I’m fine. A little tired, even though you’re my third and final patient of the day.” The Icelandic sat on the exam table, watching her gather his medical records and her notes. “Let’s see, though it’s a physical check-up this time, I’ll still start by listening to your heart beat.” Taking her stethoscope, she placed the headset in her ear and pressed the chest piece right over where his heart should be. Emil tensed up as she placed her hand gently on his shoulder, but forced himself to relax and tried taking deep breaths.

(Name) frowned; his heart was still beating quickly, though, she noted, not as quickly as it was in previous check-ups.

Taking the headset out and resting it around her neck, the doctor glanced at Emil. “Well, good and bad news, Emil. Your heart rate is still higher than it should be, but it seems as though it’s not as quick as previous times. I suppose that means you’ve been taking my orders and staying away from foods with high cholesterol and high salt content, yes?”

Emil hesitated. Should he lie to her again? If he said no, that would make her suspicious, and he wasn’t sure if he could think of something quickly to make himself sound believable. “No, I haven’t!” He blurted out, however. His eyes widened. Why did he say that?! (Name) looked up at him from her notes, and stared into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand? ‘No’ as in yes you have been taking my advice or ‘no’ you haven’t?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows. Emil began to look around the room, panicking slightly on the inside.

“I mean, I uh, went jogging from my house over here. That’s why my heart is beating quickly. I have been taking your advice.”

“…But didn’t you say that you drove here? You complained about the traffic and parking.”

…

“I misspoke, what I meant to say was that I almost got into a car accident earlier on the way here, and I guess I’m still trying to get over the shock.”

(Name) stared at him for a few moments, before reluctantly nodding and moving to place the stethoscope away.

She sighed; she wouldn’t continue to question him over his obvious lie. Instead, (Name) picked up her patient’s medical records and began to observe them. “Emil, I know I asked you this before, but are you sure you haven’t had any issues with your heart lately? Or that there isn’t a history of heart disease in your family? It’s only been these past 3 months that your heart rate has been increasing whenever I measure it.”

Emil shook his head.

(Name) sighed once more and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. “Emil, please, don’t lie to me. I’m worried about you.”

He looked up in surprise. “You are?”

His doctor stared back at him, surprised herself. “Of course I am. I’m your physician after all.” Emil’s expression quickly changed to that of anger.

“Oh I see. You’re only worried because if something were to happen to me, health-wise, it would reflect poorly on you.” He scoffed. “I can’t believe I’d been so stupid. To think that maybe you…” He trailed off, lost in his thoughts as he stared off to the side.

(Name) felt her heart leap in sudden panic at his words. “No!” She exclaimed rather loudly and quickly, surprising Emil. “I’m genuinely worried about you! Not just because I’m your doctor! I-I…” Her heart kept pounding away in her chest as she tried to explain herself. To be honest, (Name) wasn’t sure why she’d been sent in such a panic after Emil thought she only worried about him because she was his doctor.

She looked away, unable to find the words to defend her word choice. “…Let’s just move on with the check-up,” she murmured.

~*~*~*~*~*

If there were any moments either of them felt that lasted an eternity, it was the physical check-up that was happening right now. They’d spent the rest of it in silence, only talking when they needed to. Emil’s frown never left his face, and (Name) kept her face blank.

“Okay, all that’s left for you today… Is the scoliosis test.” The moment those words left her mouth, Emil’s face exploded in red.

“D-do I have to do that? I thought only people younger than 18 still had those tests.” The Icelander did not want to go through with this. The thought of her running her hand down his back made him shiver slightly.

“Adults need to be screened as well. It’s possible for scoliosis to develop in adulthood.”

Emil sighed, reluctantly nodding and getting off of the exam table. (Name) gave him a small smile. “No need to be embarrassed in front of your doctor. Now, bend over.” He blushed at her blunt words.

“W-what?!”

She looked at him in confusion. “You need to bend over for me to check, you know.”

He nodded. “Oh, I-I forgot…” (Name) giggled slightly at his reaction. “What?”

She waved him off. “Oh nothing. I just never would have thought you were the modest type. Getting flustered so easily at a simple set of words.” He frowned, and looked the other way.

“Stop it. It’s not funny.” Emil tried to compose himself, only to blush again as she moved closer.

“No need to be shy now, Emil. Oh, and by the way, since you get flustered so easily, I have quite a list of ways that can make your blood not only flow excessively to your face.” Well, that sentence itself only made Emil’s face explode with red as he covered it with his hands, muttering incomprehensible words. (Name), however, broke into a fit of laughter. “I’m so sorry!” She laughed out, before calming down a few moments later. “Forgive me, Emil; that was very unprofessional of me.”

Emil peeked at her smiling face between his fingers, before uncovering his face with his hands and stared straight into her eyes. “If you really want to be forgiven, how about you come back to my place and you can beg some more?” This time it was (Name)’s turn to blush, though she was able to recover quite nicely.

“You mean the place where you live with your brother and your friends?” She grinned, knowing that he disliked the fact that he lived with them. And she was right, as Emil’s smug smile transformed to that of a frown.

“Let’s just get this stupid test over with.” (Name) laughed at his response though complied. He stood a few feet in front of her and bent forward, allowing her to check his spine. The doctor lifted his shirt up and ran her fingers along the ridge of his spin, starting from near his neck and all the way down a few inches away from the start of his pants. She didn’t understand, however, why her face felt slightly hot and her heart beat increasing. Emil, on the other hand, thanked the heavens that she couldn’t see his own blushing face. (Name) kept her fingers on his back for a few moments longer than she was suppose to, staring at his body before realizing what she was doing.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep touching you.” She felt like slapping herself. The way she’d phrased that sentence made her sound like a pervert. Why was she beginning to act so differently right now? Shaking her head, (Name) pulled his shirt back down, signaling to Emil that he could stand straight up again. The 26 year old doctor moved over to her notes and began to write down everything that was needed to be kept in the records. Emil stared at her; the (hair color) haired woman was writing rather quickly and was pressing the pen down harder than necessary. Sighing, (Name) closed the binder and looked back into his eyes. Oh, his violet eyes. How she adored them the moment she first saw them.

Snapping out of her trance once more, she looked away and spoke. “I think you should come in again next month to check on your heart and breathing rate again. I’m still worried about how high they are.” The Icelander nodded, and (Name) smiled kindly at him, trying to forget the awkward pauses that occurred a few minutes ago.

The 26 year old Icelander thought back to his conversation with Francis. “…Yeah, I guess not. The feelings will pass eventually.” Looking at (Name), his violet eyes watched her as she smiled at him.

‘They’ll pass eventually…’ He thought.

“Well, Emil, thanks for coming in! I’ll see you in a month! Or perhaps earlier, if you just so happen to be walking around town.” She winked.

‘They’ll pass eventually… Right?’

Just as she began to walk towards the door to open it for him, Emil stepped forward and gently grabbed her hand. (Name) looked back at him in surprise.

‘No…’

“Emil? What’s wrong?” She looked at him with concern.

Closing his eyes, Emil tried to compose himself, before opening them and stared down at her.

‘I’m sorry, (Name)’

In one quick movement, Emil pulled her in closer and captured his lips with hers with such passion and force that Emil no longer worried about finding the right words to tell her how he felt. The kiss told it all.

‘I love you.’

Her eyes widened in shock. What was happening? Though before she could process what was going on, (Name) felt herself kissing him back. A few moments later, Emil pulled away and stared into her (e/c) colored eyes. They held such love in them that (Name) was surprised she hadn’t noticed it before. That’s when everything clicked. She remembered what Toris had told her prior to the appointment. “I’m sure your patient will tell you why he’s been having these ‘conditions’ in time.” The (h/c) haired doctor smiled shyly at Emil. ‘He doesn’t need to tell me anything if he can show me.’

~*~*~*~*~*

“You have a new doctor? What happened to Dr. (L/N)? Did something happen to her?” Tino questioned his Icelandic friend.

Emil shook his head. “Nothing happened to her, I just thought it would be best if I switched doctors. It’s not a huge switch, my current doctor is her co-worker, Dr. Laurinaitis.”

“But that doesn’t really explain why you switched all of a sudden?” Matthias questioned.

“Did she do something that made you uncomfortable?” Berwald spoke, still staring down at his book he was reading.

Lukas stared at his brother. “Emil, what happened?”

The Icelander, however, only got exasperated at their questions. “Nothing bad happened, okay, guys?” Sighing, he spoke more gently, though it was unusual for him when talking to the four of them, “Don’t worry, really. It’s nothing bad, I promise.” Before anyone could question him again, the door bell rang and Emil went over to open it.

There, standing in the doorway, was (Name), smiling brightly and wearing a cute outfit. “Hey, Emil!” She chirped. Moving her head to look inside, she smiled at the four gawking men inside. “It’s nice to finally meet you all! Emil’s told me a lot about all of you,” she laughed at the last part.

Emil smiled at her, before addressing his housemates. “I’m going out for a few hours, don’t wait up for me.” And with that, he closed the door.

Everything was silent in the house for a few moments, before someone uttered, “Oh my god.”

Matthias recovered from his shock and laughed. “Looks like Emil finally told her how he felt!”




~Fin